- Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands… now its just the Islands.
- He's always on top when he has sex, because Chuck Norris doesn't f**k up.
- He doesn't wear condoms. When it comes to Chuck Norris, there's no such thing as protection.
- Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Last night, an 82 year-old widow looked at this picture of Chuck Norris. Today, she's pregnant.