Chuck Norris: Badass
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
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Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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I once had the pleasure of shaking Chuck Norris hand. I now only have 1 arm.
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One time, Chuck Norris went to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life there.
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Chuck Norris wants you to have a happy birthday. So have a happy birthday or Chuck will find you.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Once, Chuck Norris was told to down one of his students. That student is still recovering from his injuries.
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Chuck Norris has punched people so hard that their blood started bleeding.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
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Chuck Norris blood type is AK-47.
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Chuck Norris trash day:
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Einstein's Theory of Relativity states that nothing can travel faster than light ... except Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick.
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2021 Capitol Attack
"Chuck Norris denies being at Capitol attack after image goes viral", The Guardian
Chuck Norris calls you for peaceful protests:
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A Chuck Norris delivered roundhouse kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Jesus prays to Chuck Norris.
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The US army was left with 2 option against Japan: drop a nuke or send in Chuck Norris.
They chose the more humane option. -
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Fear of spiders is aracnophobia. Fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never had to put gas in his tank. All of his vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris invading North Korea:
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