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A man tried to photograph Chuck Norris once. Once.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take photos, he keeps moments in time in his freezer.
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Chuck Norris does not use Neutral Density filters, he simply stares the Sun down into dimness.
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Chuck Norris does not need to adjust his lens for bokeh, everything else in the background usually shivers out of fear of him to produce that effect.
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You can't take a portrait of Chuck Norris because the only photo that'll come out is of his shoe... just before he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris' chest hair is the sole reason for digital noise.
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Chuck Norris' camera gear comes with "shudders."
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When composing a shot, Chuck Norris follows the Rule of Chuck Norris.
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In any photograph, Chuck Norris is the Dominant Object.
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When lighting, Chuck Norris uses two kickers; His left foot and his right foot.
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Chuck Norris does not believe in Model Releases... Until he's good and ready to release them.
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In the darkroom, Chuck Norris gives new meaning to the term "Wetting Agent." It now comes in the form of the enemy's pants.
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Chuck Norris photos usually end up with Red Eye... From the blood.
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There is no need for Chuck Norris to retouch. He takes care of everything the first time.
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Chuck Norris' landscape photo was rejected for poor composition. So he moved the hill and the river closer together and re-shot it.
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Coming back from a DoF shooting assignment, Chuck Norris was soon asked about the mayhem and bodies he had left behind. "Oh, so you didn't mean death of field?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't have his images reviewed: reviewers draw straws to determine who will have the honour of clicking 'approved'.
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Chuck Norris takes point & shoot to a whole new level.
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There's speed lights and then there's Chuck Norris speed lights.
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If Chuck Norris was an aperture, there would be no number small enough to make an equivalent comparison.
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There is no shutter speed fast enough to freeze a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris gets his daily fibre intake by eating those expensive Gitzo carbon-fibre tripods for breakfast.
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When Chuck Norris talks about shooting with a Canon hand-held, he's not referring to cameras.
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When Chuck Norris wants to take a 360 degree panorama, he stands still and the earth revolves around him.
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Chuck Norris uses a bipod - his left and right leg.
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Chuck Norris shoots Landscape pics with macro lenses.
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Chuck Norris' soul can't be stolen by photography. It will roundhouse kick it's way right off the film.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need different lenses. He bends light with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris does not take your picture. He seizes it.
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Chuck Norris needs no tripod to take pictures. The camera does not dare to move.
Chuck Norris Facts: Photography
Created on 26 Sep, 2021
Last Update on 16 Sep, 2022

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Central_Meme
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